Oh tender heart, aching longing heart
Strings drawn taut
Full to overflowing, spilling up past
Throat pulled tight and flowing salty down cheeks
Love hurts
Heart strings, like apron strings, tied tightly round our babies
No longer babies
Long arms and legs dangling, exploring
Finding difficult things
Come back to the cradle
Let me wrap you in flannelette
Keep you warm and safe forever
It cannot be
The tearing sounds like blasting away rock
Like the birthing pains that first ushered you in to change my world forever
This heaving, aching labour feels as if it will break my heart in two
The glimpses of the beauty ahead
Unique and amazing adult
Daughter and friend more lovely than even baby-you
Give strength to persevere, perspire through
To gird up the muscles of my heart
And anticipate this birthing
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Thursday, December 18, 2014
what do you want?
Two weeks ago I had a date with God. He told me to ask him for things.
Stuff. Just ask, then get. Materialism. Consumerism. Hoarding. Shopping therapy. Clutter. Keeping up with the Joneses. Wastefulness. Greed. More. - all things I worried might happen if I became too focused on asking God for things.
What did happen: security. Peace. Desire for better gifts. Real gifts. Realization. That the best gift - the only gift I really want is God. Closeness. Intimacy. Understanding. Knowledge. Revelation. Presence. "This is Eternal life...."
Stuff. Just ask, then get. Materialism. Consumerism. Hoarding. Shopping therapy. Clutter. Keeping up with the Joneses. Wastefulness. Greed. More. - all things I worried might happen if I became too focused on asking God for things.
What did happen: security. Peace. Desire for better gifts. Real gifts. Realization. That the best gift - the only gift I really want is God. Closeness. Intimacy. Understanding. Knowledge. Revelation. Presence. "This is Eternal life...."
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
not the virgin-birth you always thought
Virgin - pure, clean, spotless, unused, pristine, untouched...
This word is used as an adjective for many things, but none so well known as the Virgin Mary. The Holy mother.
Mary - chosen of God, obedient, good. Some would even say perfect. However, I believe she was chosen, as a virgin, not because this somehow made her worthy, holy. But because it was a powerful symbol to the culture of that day - and has continued to be so for centuries. The virgin- birth was both a miracle to prove/signify the diety of Jesus, and a symbol of the purity of God. This symbol was so powerful because of the beliefs about women in that time - not the other way around. The way we sometimes look at things, you'd think Jesus was virgin-born because it's the right way to do it.
In this age of rape-culture and awareness of the oppression of women, I think it needs to be said that Mary's virginity made her no more worthy to be the mother of Jesus than her being born in that century did. When a woman is raped or chooses to have sex, she does not become used or dirty or defiled. Just like a man doesn't become these things. And God choosing a virgin-birth for His Son - His greatest gift humanity has ever seen - is about the powerful symbol and miracle this would be readily recognised as - not a statement on the purity of virgins.
I just thought this needed to be said at this time of year, to this powerful generation of question-askers and advocates-for-those-wronged. I'm proud of this new generation who refuse to accept without question things that should be questioned.
This word is used as an adjective for many things, but none so well known as the Virgin Mary. The Holy mother.
Mary - chosen of God, obedient, good. Some would even say perfect. However, I believe she was chosen, as a virgin, not because this somehow made her worthy, holy. But because it was a powerful symbol to the culture of that day - and has continued to be so for centuries. The virgin- birth was both a miracle to prove/signify the diety of Jesus, and a symbol of the purity of God. This symbol was so powerful because of the beliefs about women in that time - not the other way around. The way we sometimes look at things, you'd think Jesus was virgin-born because it's the right way to do it.
In this age of rape-culture and awareness of the oppression of women, I think it needs to be said that Mary's virginity made her no more worthy to be the mother of Jesus than her being born in that century did. When a woman is raped or chooses to have sex, she does not become used or dirty or defiled. Just like a man doesn't become these things. And God choosing a virgin-birth for His Son - His greatest gift humanity has ever seen - is about the powerful symbol and miracle this would be readily recognised as - not a statement on the purity of virgins.
I just thought this needed to be said at this time of year, to this powerful generation of question-askers and advocates-for-those-wronged. I'm proud of this new generation who refuse to accept without question things that should be questioned.
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