Tuesday, May 14, 2013
surrounded by courage
So many things are swirling around in my head these days. On Mother's Day, my heart was touched with vulnerability shared by a man at church. Yesterday I cried listening to a woman on the radio tell about re-connecting with her own body after a childhood of being molested. Last week my spirit recoiled at a greasy, gross comment by a man, a grandfather, who had led me to believe he was a sweet old man - who, I can now see, had ulterior motives all along. And I felt like such a fool. And I felt like a child, tricked into a trust relationship by someone who had a different thought all the time. I am not that little girl anymore. I am a 36 year old woman. Yet I had to come home and envision myself rocked to sleep in the cupped hands of God. And the next morning, when I had to walk by him again, I could feel 2 massive angels on either side of me, giving me courage to prove to him that he didn't make me feel vulnerable and gross. It was not such a big deal; so why did it make me shake all over? I'm not completely sure. But I know that women, girls all over the world are made to feel this way every day - just because they are female. And they succumb to it. They believe the lies of the disgusting way they are treated. God sees this. He cares. I know this because He DID rock me to sleep and walk beside me to face that creep. He gave me REAL courage. His presence surrounded me like a cloud. And I don't know why I experienced this or feel a kinship with the trampled, degraded women of the world. But I do. And I am certain that degradation of women is one of those things that will be thrown head-long into the lake of fire at the last day. And I am praising God that Jesus defeated this terrible, evil sin when He defeated sin and death on the cross. That means that we get to live in the good of His grace NOW! And we can spread the good news. I'm not good on tangible, step-by-step plans. I am better at feeling my way along and listening to the Spirit's leading in the quietness of my soul. So I will be listening for Him to call me to show God's perfect Love and Grace to women, using this experience to enable me to hear that strain of His call. God's love is safe and good and empowering. He created us with empathy and care and tears. I will cry them for you, fellow women. I will have courage for you.